Why coaching isn't a quick fix
My clients come to me for coaching on a huge variety of things – everything from changing their career, to making improvements in their current job to losing weight, feeling healthier and having more energy for their family to making positive changes in their relationships. Every single person’s goal is different – even if two people had a similar goal in mind – no two people are the same, therefore how one person tackles a goal, is more than likely not going to work for another.
For this reason, my approach to coaching my clients and their goals is totally be-spoke and individual. Each and every one of them have different life circumstances, different personalities, different values and limiting beliefs, but the one thing that I do which is the same for every single one is to help them break their goal down to smaller, more manageable goals.
Imagine you set yourself a goal of running a marathon. Everyone knows that you’re not going to run 26.2 miles the first day of your training. The 26.2 miles is the big goal. You have to gradually increase your fitness in stages – break it down into smaller milestones, ever so slightly pushing yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit more each training session. That’s exactly what I do with my clients. This is the key to achieving goals in life. I help my clients break their big goal down into smaller, more manageable, less overwhelming steps. So rather than them feeling they have to tackle everything at once, which is completely daunting and can leave anyone paralysed and stuck, we tackle a number of smaller goals.
Often clients love this approach to goal setting. When they set a smaller goal that’s 2-3 weeks in the future, it’s easier to achieve, they see results quicker and they can see that they’re one step closer to their ultimate big goal than they were previously. However, for others it’s a bit more difficult for them to see that this is the right approach. It’s only human nature to want that dream life, that big goal realised as soon as possible, but coaches aren’t magicians or fairy godmothers who can wave a magic wand or pull the answer out of a hat. Like anything in life, there’s no short cut. I often compare coaching to like building a house. If you haven’t dug out the foundations and laid the first few rows of bricks correctly, you’re not going to get the house you want. Rushing it will only lead to disaster down the line, and with coaching, if the basic first steps aren’t thoroughly considered, explored and reflected on, you might still end up achieving your big goal but it will soon come toppling down around you. Wrong decisions may be made and you might have to end up starting over again.
Now don’t get me wrong, mistakes are massively important to make. In fact that’s where most learning and growth happens. In fact, mistakes are vital for ultimate success and happiness, but the mistakes I’m talking about could be compared to taking a wrong turn on your way to the airport, then realising 500 meters down the road, and then getting back on the right track. If you try and rush achieving your goals, you could end up making a mistake that’s equivalent to getting on the wrong airplane, that’s taking you to Australia, when you wanted to go to France.
The key to goal setting is about stepping back, looking in on your life and deciding what number of things need to happen and in which order. But often, when goals are overwhelmingly big and you feel stuck, it’s really difficult to look in on your own life by yourself and see the right way forward. There’s so many things going round in your brain. You can’t see the wood for the trees. Vey often your inner critic and limiting beliefs are stopping you from thinking logically. That’s where investing in a coach is helpful. They will ask you questions in an order which will help you make sense of your thoughts. If you’re struggling with making sense of where to start with your goals, then feel free to get in contact for a 30 minute complimentary discovery call.